Graduation Book (Humorous Story)

Following is the entire text of the story. The words in red represent the personalized information.

This book has been written for you:

Michael Thomas Smith

on the occasion of your graduation from

Penn State.

Congratulations on earning your

Bachelor's of Science.

In the long, complicated unfolding of human history, there are a few events that stand out as incidents of world-shaping dimension.  The discovery of the Americas.  The first footsteps on the moon.  The invention of the zipper.

Alongside these momentous events, we must now place the graduation of Mike Smith.

Mike, there were those who said you couldn't do it.  There were those who doubted your tenacity.  There were those who thought you would never make it.  There were those who said that Mr. Becker, Mrs. Johnson and the other teachers at Penn State were wasting their time.

But, what do those people know anyway?  You earned your Bachelor's of Science somehow.

It doesn't seem that long ago that you began to attend Penn State, does it Mike?  Well, all right.  It does seem like a long time ago.  Anyway, you knew from the beginning that there would be challenges.  And you knew that some of those challenges would be quite enjoyable, others would be exhilarating, but did you have to make every one insurmountable?

And what about the challenges that friends like Jason and Bill faced dealing with you on a daily basis.

Fortunately, those challenges only served to strengthen you, to sharpen you, to propel you on to greatness, to bring out the true inner magnificence lying just below the surface in every member of your family.  And once the challenges had all been met, it was time for your hard work to be recognized.  Do you remember that momentous day?  It was almost as if the whole world stopped for a few moments in grateful acknowledgement of your accomplishment.  Well, Mike, it was sort of like that.

May 26, 2005, the day of your graduation, will always be remembered with pride.  Some family members, like Sally, Mom, Dad, Grandpa planned to witness the happy event.  Of course, it all depended on whether there was a free lunch or not.

Your loved ones will never forget the proud moment when the name "Mike Smith" was announced.  What a memorable moment.  A hush fell over the crowd.  Heads turned as you made your way to the front.  Hearts were filled with joy.  Eyes were moist with tears.  There was a lump in every throat.  And you made your way forward with the grace and dignity for which you have always been known.

"Did Mike graduate?" the people asked in surprise.

The spontaneous outburst of thunderous applause; the roar of approval; the standing ovation:  it was a special moment for everyone.  Under the circumstances, it was particularly good that you only tripped once.

And then came the listing of your many accomplishments, and the bestowing of honors and awards too few to mention, even here.  Of course, there were obvious ones.  But we can't talk about them in print.

But then there were those others that made the day so special for all of us: awards that speak volumes about you, and bring to life in vivid colors your unique approach to the whole educational system:  awards for unusual attendance patterns, creative assignment completion and for imaginative use of excuses.

What a rare list of accomplishments!  What a graduation!  What an important moment in the history of civilization!

Just look at you Mike!  You're a graduate with a bright and exciting future.  And just think, Mike, the whole world lies at your doorstep.  There's no telling what awaits you.  Achievement.  Fame.  Honor.  Prestige.  Glory.  Who knows?  Maybe even a job!

With love from

Mom and Dad

May 26, 2005

Here are sample pages from the inside of the book.  To read the story, click on the "Read the Story" tab to the left.

The Graduation book does not contain illustrations.  Instead, as a keepsake book, it includes removable pages (designed to look like scrolls) on which you can add photos or pass around for notes from friends or family.  It also includes lined pages on which to record gifts, notes or other memories.  Samples of these pages are below.

• Quality, hard-cover personalized book
• Insert pages on which to add photos or write notes to the graduate (4 double-sided pages)
• Lined pages on which to record gifts, notes or other memories (2 double-sided pages)
• 22 pages
• Measures 6 3/4" x 8 1/4"